i am choking

​i am choking.
on thoughts
and regrets
and deaths
that have not yet occurred.
i see dreams being crushed,
families being lost,
futures remaining unfulfilled.
a paper cut becomes a severed leg
and a sandwich with mustard,
though i specifically asked for no fucking mustard,
hits my week like a hurricane.
i am dramatic,
neurotic,
anxious,
fearful,
and regretful for decisions
i have yet to even make.       
sometimes i just need to stop
and take a deep breath,
but my lungs don't seem to work
and this air is far too thin
and i can't breathe.
i am choking.