I'm nervous
I feel the butterflies fluttering around Sh, don't make a sound I need to keep them down My pores are oozing with everything but confidence My heart is telling me to dance But my feet continue stumbling The words tug at the tip of my tongue Refusing to exit my mouth And float around in the air And into your ear So I guess they'll just stay where they are I hope you can't tell But my heart is trying to escape my chest My mind is racing by its side But in the opposite direction of the finish line My lungs are fighting for oxygen But my mouth is glued shut and won't let it in I'm falling apart And yet I can't help but wish That everyday felt exactly like this How arrogant am I
to think that anybody should care about what I have to say. As if my opinions belong atop a pedestal in the middle of the kingdom for all of the world to read as I scream, "Everybody, look at me!" We all have thoughts and ideas and hopes and dreams and desires large enough to burn the world to a crisp and yet I am selfish enough to think I am the only one who dreams. I put on this pretentious cape as if I'm the only one who has ever uttered the words "I want to change the world." I brag about accomplishments I have yet to achieve as if speaking them were enough. How arrogant am I to ask you to spend your time reading my scribbled thoughts. I write poems and stories about broken dreams and expect you to relate to things that matter to nobody, but me. How arrogant am I to think that I am the only one who breathes the air floating in the atmosphere. I walk around like the sun revolves only around me and that the rest of you are nothing more than puzzle pieces I can use to create my bigger picture. How arrogant am I to think that I can breathe change into the world with nothing more than some written words and shouted prayers. How arrogant am I. I wonder how it would feel
to be comfortable in my own skin and to love who I am instead of hiding in shame. I wonder how it would feel to not be alone in the world and knowing that somebody cared. I wonder how it would feel to be hugged and loved and kissed. I have spent hours
staring at a blank page trying to find the perfect words to describe you. I have flipped and turned every page written and typed two or three time and have yet to find the right combination of letters. Like us to the glory of God the written language we have constructed has fallen miles short of the glory of you. Words like ravishing and exquisite have attempted to climb your mountain but ran out of air far before your peak ever came into view. I have written novels upon novels, dried out every pen within reach, and have yet to describe a percentage of the masterpiece that is you. I don't know about you, but my parents always taught me to love
And never judge a book by its cover Or a man by his turban I was taught that gay or straight Never hate a man for who he was born to be I was taught that just because one dog bites your neck Doesn't mean the entire dog species is evil I was taught to lend a helping hand when I saw somebody in need I wasn't taught about religion or nationalities But rather I was taught about humanity And how no matter the size or color of skin We all have a heart that beats in the same way And desires in the same way And a soul that is longing for love in the same way I was taught not to hate, but rather to understand I was taught to yearn to learn I was taught to speak with love And keep hate far from my tongue I wasn't taught to be American or Christian I was taught to be human And I was taught that it doesn't matter where you were born Or who you bow your head down to at night We are all one and the same Human |
Archives
October 2020
|