i neglected you, again.

i did it again. i neglected you, my website. my beautiful, beautiful website. i apologize.

you see, i’ve been busy. if i am being honest—with you and with myself—you are just a side thing. something i visit when i am bored, when i am in between ideas. that is all.

you see, i’ve been working on a couple things. a couple books. one about a poetic mind and another about observations. i can’t say much more than that. but i do think they are fairly good.

you see, i’ve been wondering recently about how public i want to be. how much i want my life to exist on this internet thing. and you know what? i don’t think i want much of it to live here at all. maybe the occasional thing—like this random, nonsensical, completely pointless stream of bored consciousness—but not much more than that.

you see, i am extremely confident that one day—maybe in the near future or maybe in several decades —that you, my little website here, will be visited by more people than just me. i think these projects, about minds and observations, could maybe make you a desirable place to be. maybe someone will even read this little thing here and say, “oh, he’s always been an odd one,” to which i reply many years in advance, “yes, i have always been.”

you see, i’m still not sure how serious i should take this life thing. i don’t think i want to take it too serious at all. i like jokes. i may not laugh or smile often, i may spend most of my days in a numbing silence, but i do like jokes. and the occasional laughter when i can find it.

you see, i think everything will make sense in the end. in its totality. this life, this existence, these words, you, my projects, the words in my head, the music in my ear, they are just puzzle pieces to a puzzle so large that it will take an entire lifetime to complete. and only then will it all make sense.

you see, nothing is as it seems.

you see, my words are not really random at all.

you see, nor are these posts that i share with you and only you and, maybe one day, millions more. or maybe on a half-dozen or so.

you see, nor are these projects about minds and observations.

you see, they are all just pieces.

you see,…well maybe you don’t quite yet.
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but one day you will.