I think it would be a disservice to myself to not, at the very least, write a short bit about today's inauguration. As you know, or as you should know, today Donald Trump became our president. Obama is now only a past president. His photos will be taken down from government buildings and restaurants all over the country and will be replaced with a photo of our new president, our current president, Donald Trump. Donald Trump is our president.
I am sorry if my repetition or emphasis of Donald Trump being our president is too much, its just, I am trying to come to grips with this new reality.
You see these past two and a half months, since the election, have been oddly difficult for me. I can't seem to find joy in anything I do, my anxiety has been at an all time high, I can't sleep, I'm overeating, I feel weak... I feel defeated. These feelings aren't new to me. I have been battling depression for multiple years now, but for whatever reason these past couple of months have been the roughest.
I feel defeated.
But I am writing now to say that I am, in fact, not defeated at all. I may feel it, but I will not accept it. Life, politics, happiness, they all come in waves. Sometimes you ride them, the wind blowing through your hair and against your cheeks, and other times the waves crush you, sending you tumbling and desiring nothing more than a breath of air. Right now I am tumbling. But, like every other time a wave has crashed onto me-- metaphorically and literally-- I have managed to resurface. And that, resurfacing, is what I am doing now.
I dream of a world where we don't fight over our race or citizenship, but rather we live in peace with all peoples. I dream of a world where the opportunity of life, liberty, and happiness are truly equal for all-- despite the family they are born into, neighborhood they live in, color of their skin, God that they pray or don't pray to. I dream of a world where every human being has the right to health care, the right to education, the right to pursue any one of their dreams without their parents or personal financials hindering them from doing so. I dream of a world where a child isn't limited based on their parents life decisions. A world where neighborhoods, race, and religion intertwine so deeply that we hardly know where one begins and the other ends.
I am not defeated. My dreams are not dead. The road upcoming may be rough, there may be walls meant to block change from coming in, but that's okay-- all good things came out of the shadows.
So today Donald Trump officially became the 45th president of the United States of America... but I am not defeated.