Blank Pages

As a writer, I spend a majority of my days staring at blank pages. The pure whiteness staring back at me. Taunting me. Doubting me. Forcing me to question everything that I know about myself. Challenging everything that I once held to be unquestionable. Digging deeply into my foundation and attempting to disturb everything I have bled over and sweat over. 

I have yet to experience anything as lonely or as rewarding as writing. The entire process is an emotional rollercoaster that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy... but that finish line is so glorious.

It's a high that I crave in every moment of my life. 

Allow me to quickly jog you through what a typical writing session for me looks like. We'll focus on a short format writing session, like writing a blog, because the roller coaster is much shorter. 

Firstly, you open up a blank page and begin the longest stare down of your life. Once you finally think of something to write about, you start writing. You write one sentence, then another, then another, then another, and after about four sentences you begin to doubt everything that you know. 

"What the hell am I even doing with my life?" "This isn't funny at all." "I am a fraud." "What if nobody can relate to this at all?" "Shit, I'm going to end up having to move into my parents basement...and they don't even have a basement...I'm going to have to buy my parents a basement, just so I have somewhere to live when I completely fail as a so-called writer."

That is where most people decide to quit. They crumple the paper into a tiny ball, look around the room for the nearest trashcan, shoot the paper ball towards that can while simultaneously yelling out "Kobe," and watch the paper paper float ten feet away from the trashcan, bounce off of the wall, and settle into its new home on the floor. 

But, if you are courageous enough, you decide to put the pen back to paper and let the ink spill. You convince yourself to ignore the voices in your mind and the blankness of the page. You let the pen do the talking. Allow the ink to cover up every inch of white with bold letters and words and a story that could only exist because of you. You shut out the world and the white noise that surrounds you. The only thing you hear is the pen whispering word after word.

And eventually, after covering the page with scribbles and ink droppings, you find yourself placing the final period, the bow, the cherry on top, the fade out. And wallah. You have yourself a blog.

The most important thing about writing is to have a plan, but be ready to throw that plan away at any moment. Let the pen lead you down the path that it believes is the most scenic route. It's okay, no it's encouraged, to travel as many side roads as possible when writing... you never know what you may discover.

Blank pages can often be intimidating, they can challenge every ounce of your being... but in between their lines is a story that only you can discover. So go find it.